CELIBACY IS NOT JUST ABOUT PRACTICING CONTINENCE

Tips to prevent the loss of more straight seminarians and priests

A woman does not want to hear from her neighbor that her husband has been unfaithful for many years with many women any more than a Catholic wants to be told that the pope and most bishops, priests, and seminarians today, except in Africa and Asia, are homosexuals. Like the wife who wants to believe that her husband would never even think of sleeping with another woman, Catholics want to believe that their parish priest sacrificed having a wife and children so that they might be more available to dedicate their lives to serving them and the Church.

Catholics who say, “It doesn’t matter if our priest, the bishops, or even the pope are homosexuals, just as long as they practice celibacy,” fail to understand how celibacy involves more than just practicing continence, and how celibacy is very different for straight priests than it is for gay priests.

Straight priests who forgo having a spouse and children cannot experience emotional support and love from other straight priests like gay priests can from other homosexual clergy. Even if two gay priests go off on a vacation without engaging in sex with one another, they can experience a deeper psychological and emotional bond than two straight priests might feel in similar circumstances. What two gay priests might feel if they were to go out to dinner is similar to what a straight priest might feel if he were to have dinner with a beautiful, intelligent, and loving woman. However, while parishioners might think nothing about seeing two priests in Roman collars dining in a restaurant together, a priest they see having dinner with a beautiful woman might become the source of a rumor even if the woman just happened to be the priest’s sister or niece.

Before 2002 when The Boston Globe ran its series of articles on sex abuse in the Catholic Church and the U.S. bishops published the Dallas Charter, a priest could mentor and interact with children without “adult supervision.” Today, if a priest like Father Carlos Martins is addressing a large number of Catholics in church and, in the process of making a joke, he lifts a lock of hair from a girl’s shoulder, he’s reported to the police; falsely accused of battery by a parent who was not even present at the gathering; is defamed by Catholic media like The Pillar; and is accused of a “boundary violation” by the Communications Office of the Diocese of Joliet. And people wonder why straight young men are not flocking to become priests. Under these circumstances, the only candidates for the priesthood will be closeted homosexuals who see the priesthood as a great place to hide while leading very comfortable lives.

Many Catholics know that, unlike most foreign-born priests who are heterosexuals and would never even think of blessing a same-sex couple, most U.S.-born priests today are homosexuals without whom the majority of parishes in their diocese would close. Fearing the closure of their parish, and not wanting to jeopardize their eternal life insurance policy whose “premiums” they have been paying weekly throughout their lives, many Catholics will turn a blind eye as to how their contributions end up financing the salaries of predatory clerics. These same Catholics who keep quiet or enter denial mode when a priest is credibly accused of abusing fellow parishioners or seminarians, often fail to find the courage to confront a priest who is destroying his soul or the souls of others by sexual, alcoholic, or other addictions. Too many Catholics who seek only that their own personal needs be met will not care when a sex abuse victim wishes to be acknowledged, or when a complicit bishop or Catholic media source covers up that victim’s abuse. Similarly, I find that Catholics who don’t want their diocesan priests to be allowed to marry, believing that they would not be readily available to serve them, are either very selfish, or they don’t have a clue about how celibate love works differently for straight and gay priests.

During a holiday when families gather together, after conducting services a homosexual priest will often go off and spend time with another gay cleric or homosexual who may not even be Catholic. In the past, when two or three diocesan priests lived together, they might have dinner together after conducting Christmas Eve, midnight, and Christmas day Masses. Today, however, with often just one priest in the parish, unless the priest is close to a certain family or even number of families, he might find himself “home alone” for the holidays. A priest in a Connecticut parish, following all of his Christmas Masses, would go to the home of a Protestant minister and his family for Christmas dinner. If one were to ask the priest’s parishioners, “Did you send your ‘Father’ a Christmas card or give him a Christmas present like you did other members of your family? Did you bring him any special Christmas treats? Did you invite him to have dinner with you and your family during any of the 12 days of Christmas?” you will find that most parishioners, including those who oppose optional celibacy for diocesan priests, would answer “no.” Unfortunately, this failure to return celibate love from someone who truly sacrificed having a wife and children has impacted both straight priest recruitment and retention.

Among the number of young men who went to Rome with me to study for the priesthood, around a third left before ordination (mainly because of celibacy); a third left after ordination (mainly to marry); and a third either remain in ministry or were removed for sexual predation or homosexual misconduct. It appears that the majority of those who did not leave to marry are homosexuals. This assessment supports studies that show how less than 20 percent of U.S.-born priests today are heterosexually oriented. Twelve years ago, the number of straight priests was slightly higher when 26.9% of the priests identified themselves as heterosexuals; 67.3% self-identified as gay/homosexual; and 5.8% reported that they were bisexual.

Because most priests on seminary faculties are closeted homosexuals, seminarians will never be taught the difference between straight and gay sexuality in the priesthood, and how straight priests will not be supported in their ministry from their gay bishop and priests who often wish they were never ordained. Straight priests are rarely appointed to important diocesan positions, nor are they assigned to larger and more affluent parishes.

When gay priests found to have been sexually active like Adam Park, Peter Harman, Jeffrey Burrill, Walter Rossi, and countless others are left in ministry, while straight priests like Washington Father Michael Briese and straight seminarians like Anthony Gorgia and others are shown the door for reporting sexual predation and homosexual misconduct, why would any straight priest today recommend a straight young man join an organization that truly discriminates on the basis of one’s heterosexual orientation? Straight men don’t go to gay bars, and straight men do not want to live with and work for men like Washington Cardinal Wilton Gregory, Richmond Bishop Barry Knestout, and most U.S. bishops they know to be closeted homosexuals.

While straight priest recruitment will continue to suffer, Catholics need to wake up and support and love their few remaining straight priests both while they are in ministry and after they retire. Following retirement, most gay priests move in with other gay priests, bishops, or partners they may have carried on clandestine relationships with over the years.

Some gay priests today are even being buried side-by-side with one another. A retiring straight priest might know another straight priest who might allow him to live in his rectory, but that rarely happens today. Unfortunately, many retired straight priests receive little support from other priests or parishioners they served over the years. Even if the diocese has a priests’ retirement home, many of them today house priests who were removed for abuse, thus making them not very attractive places to live for priests who would never think of harming a child or vulnerable adult.

Insofar as marriage is not just about having sex and making babies, so too is celibacy not just about practicing continence. Unfortunately, because almost all bishops are homosexuals who have no clue how difficult it is today for straight priests who cannot interact with and mentor children in their parishes like a loving father, and because most straight priests today do not receive the same support from fellow straight priests and parishioners like homosexual clergy receive from other gays, it is no wonder that Catholics have no idea how dumb it is to say, “It doesn’t matter if a priest is straight or gay, as long as he is celibate.”

Gene Thomas Gomulka is a sexual abuse victims’ advocate, investigative reporter, and screenwriter. A former Navy (O6) Captain/Chaplain, seminary instructor, and diocesan respect life director, Gomulka was ordained a priest for the Altoona-Johnstown diocese and later made a Prelate of Honor (Monsignor) by St. John Paul II. Email him at msgr.investigations@gmail.com.